Letting go

In my most recent online Temple group gathering, we explored the theme of letting go. The more I work with energy, the more I realise that, like cupboards full of junk or lofts stuffed with things we can’t decide if we need or not, energetic debris is also something that we accumulate.

Most of the time, we don’t actually even know that it is debris! Yes, we might feel tired, weighed down or overwhelmed and never think that some of the source of that might be this ‘energy junk’ that we are carrying around with us.

But what is it? How can we access it and know it for what it is?

I feel, in our changing times, it is more important than ever to really look at the things that we can change internally. So many of us feel overwhelmed with the huge amount that we can’t change externally and we can either get swept away by that or we can try to choose something else. The fact is, there is only a very tiny fraction of life that we can control. Whether we stress, worry or string ourselves out, or not, it won’t make enormous changes to the challenges that come our way.

It’s not easy, and for me, it’s a constant practice, but it feels so worth it! I look back at myself, say 5 or 10 years ago and how I would tackle various experiences, how anxious or stressed a certain situation would have made me, my ‘Achilles heels’ that tripped me up again and again, the patterns, the relationships, how I handles upset or conflict. I am, of course, a work in progress, but I HAVE progressed. I am no longer the person I was. I no longer get as caught up in the well-entrenched patterns that I had inherited, adopted or accumulated. I am able to have greater perspective on certain things, react differently, forgive differently, apply more wisdom and compassion.

There is still work to do, but there is a satisfaction in the work done so far. I am able to see how far I have come, not just how far I have to go.

We are coming to the end of the Chinese Year of the Snake, a wonderful metaphor of shedding skins. As such, it has been a very good year for letting go of aspects of our identity that prevent us from moving forward brightly.

This theme of letting go allowed the group to pause for a moment, reflect and look back. What ideas, aspects of their identity, well-worn stories or habits had they let go of, or still wanted to let go of? What skins felt too tight? What layer did they want to shiver off their body to allow for a feeling of greater possibility and freedom?

Was it keeping quiet when they wanted to speak up? People pleasing? Pushing themselves to overwhelm again and again? Was it witholding truth or honesty? Were there old and damaging emotions like resentment or anger that they were hanging onto?

Do we really, truly believe that we are stuck as we are, that we can’t evolve, that it’s too late? I never, ever believe that. I have seen people as old as 94 change how they see themselves and I am constantly inspired by that!

So when I talk about energy, it’s not something inaccessible or unusual, it is simply the vibration of our patterns, our thoughts, our stories, our habits that we all have the power to change.

And we can start small. A tiny shift in how we respond to someone. A moment of pause before we speak. Compassion to ourselves where we might use negative internal language. Gentle, gracious, steady progress.

Letting go has been a big theme for me this year and I sense it will continue to be so. I have had to have a really honest look at myself this year to see where my passion for helping people can become too much. My greatest challenge this year has been admitting that my ‘help’ can be a hindrance to the people closest to me. My desire to see them shine has meant that I can take too much responsibility, try to solve too much, advise too much, expect too much. Wow. It’s been uncomfortable. And it’s ongoing. But I KNOW that on some level, my stepping back is exactly the energy that is needed. It’s not giving up or being ambivalent, it’s about trusting that my nearest and dearest have their OWN agency.

So obvious as I write it, but in reality, in practice, it’s been, and is, hard to do. It is much easier to keep walking my same, (gulp) self-righteous, path. It’s much more pleasant for my ego to do that. But my soul whispers something else. And of course, as well as freeing others, it frees me! If my energy isn’t bound up and occupied with being the ‘saviour’, I have more energy for my own path.

So please know, that when I write for you, I also write for me. That I am nowhere near ‘done’ and I hope I will always have the humility to learn.

Who knows who we might be able to become in 2026?